Thanks so much guys for stopping by and lending your support, it really means a lot on those "down" days. But really, I'm done now. I found 1 puppy a new home, so now I only have one new puppy. One new puppy is considerably less stressful than two new puppies. I'm a little upset with hubby for getting rid of the nice, calm, POTTY TRAINED, peaceful puppy that I preferred and keeping the over-zealous, hyper, pooped all over my couch not to mention the floor, bites, yelps, barks all night JOY of a puppy that he favors. Okay, this puppy IS cuter, but that does not excuse him. He is a very naughty puppy.

I have some "friends" that I only know through online venues, and one of my mama friends got some devastating news this week and it is really affecting me. She has a small baby that is still nursing, but she will have to go for a mastectomy Monday, but that is not the worst news. The cancer has also spread to her spine and brain, and her outlook is grim. I've shed so many tears for her and her family. And it does kind of put things in perspective, eh? I mean, it does suck not being able to breathe enough to get up and down the stairs some days, but at least I am still here to complain about not being able to go up and down the stairs.


I don't have much time as I have kidlets all over me reading what I'm writing, wanting some attention, crying for chocolate milk and so forth. At the moment it's music to my ears. Damn, life just isn't fair sometimes.

I think I'm getting depressed. I can't stop crying, and for no good reason. I think I'm just really tired of being sick. I hate it that cleaning the bathroom floor means I need a breathing treatment and 30 minutes to recover. I hate that carrying the baby up the stairs leaves me breathless and exhausted. I hate that when I take the puppies for a walk I can only go about a block down the street, where I have to stop at the school for a few minutes to catch my breath before coming back home. I hate that I still have to be on these stupid steroids because I can't breathe at all without them, yet the side effects that I endure drive me mad. I hate that my husband and children are tired of seeing me sick and just want me to be better already.

Some days I feel so lucky to have so much, but today is simply not one of those days. I guess underneath it all I do appreciate all that I have, but I can't help being frustrated with my health (or lack thereof). I can't remember what it felt like to be "normal." I'd love to not have the anxiety when I'm leaving my house that I'll be out somewhere and have an attack that leaves me unable to catch my breath.

I'd also love to sleep in just one day in my life for as long as I possibly can without children awakening me. Someday, I guess, they'll be grown up and gone away and I'll miss the days when they jumped on my bed at 6 in the morning. Or maybe I'll miss them, but not the jumping on the bed part. This stems from hubby, who is trying to be helpful, telling me to sleep in the spare bed last night while he kept the kids and got up with them (the baby at least) all night. And yet he brought them all to me at 6 this morning, which, in my opinion, kind of defeated the purpose (since the baby sleeps from midnight to 6 without waking anyway, he really didn't do anything besides sleep with him).

I'm in some mood today, I swear. I'm trying so hard to get out of this funk, but can't seem to let it go. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I do know I'm really tired of feeling bad and I'd give an awful lot for just one day of "normal."

So on the advice of WP, I've put Cesar's book on hold at the library and will be able to pick it up next week. Until then, it seems to me that if I remember to take the puppies out every half hour or so we don't have any accidents on the floor. However, if I forget then it's piddle puddle central around here. And hubby was supposed to be taking care of puppy problems since I said absolutely NO doggies but unless I want to sit and smell doggies, pees, poopies, and so on, then I'm cleaning them myself. Personally, I think the puppies need a new home as I really do NOT need two more living creatures to care for. You'd think that between the kids and the hubby who all WANT the dogs that someone could feed and clean up after them. But no, not happening. SO no, not staying! Simple, huh?



I was back at the doctor yesterday, and apparently I had ear infections in both ears but didn't notice it? I've had ear infections before and they're usually quite painful so I can't imagine that I didn't notice it. He advised me to get back to bed before I wind up back in the hospital with pneumonia; said he was afraid this cold thing I've got going on for the past couple of weeks was developing into pneumonia. Well, I'm trying to get better doc, I really am! I'm on a couple of antibiotics now to combat the ear infections and hopefully prevent the pneumonia from taking hold. I'm resting as much as possible (which honestly isn't a whole lot, but I am getting a little nap each day) and taking my vitamins and vitamin C and all that, what more can I do? I keep running a fever of 103 or so, and I just feel like a train ran over me! Ugh. I'm really so sick and tired of being sick!

Yesterday morning had me begging hubby to take me back to the ER for admission, I was that bad. I didn't think I could catch my breath, but he took the kids and got them off to school and I had a couple of breathing treatments and laid there on o2 for a while and did manage to finally get my breath back. It really sucked. My temp was 104. I didn't go on the soccer trip this weekend as I wanted to spend some time with the middle 2 kidlets, but he did AND because I was so sick he took baby with him. So last night and this morning were an absolute dream! No one woke me up every few hours (well, the puppies did wake me a few times but that's another story...) and there was no one crawling all over me for booby and trying to get in my shirt this morning! I slept in all the way til 7:30!

Okay, so puppies. I've always been more of a cat person (although I've got nothing against dogs) simply because they are so much easier to train and take care of. They just kind of do their own thing, and usually one time of showing them where the litter box is suffices for potty training. Gotta love that. But hubby is a dog person. And these two stray puppies showed up last week, so he started feeding them. They are the cutest little things. Black, probably lab mix. So here he comes with the cutest puppies ever, kids with their puppy dog faces (which I taught them to make by the way) and him with his puppy dog face begging, "Mom, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeze can we keep them?" Of course I said No, No, No! And I told hubby the vet bill would be over $100 (which I thought would deter him), and that he had to potty train them and that he had to clean up all the messes in the meantime. And he said, "Okay!" with a big ole grin on his face. So we now have two puppies. The vet bill really was over $100 ($118 to be exact!) with the worms, shots, fleas, etc. that they needed meds for. The kids named them Shaggy and Scooby. The baby hates them, he is scared to death because when he sits they are about face high to him, and they love to come up and lick him. He hates it and screams. I hope they will get used to one another.

At any rate, they haven't been in the house much because I've been too sick the past week to deal with them and hubby has been dealing with baby a lot since I've been sick. So last night was a test since baby was gone, we let them in. We managed to stay on top of it, no accidents (yay!) and put them in their crate for sleeping last night. They woke up crying a couple of times (hence the puppies waking me up once or twice) but they settled back down and went back to sleep after a bit. Got them up this morning at 7:30 and took them out, and so far, so good. Toddler is so cute with them, he gets Shaggy and puts him on his lap, which shaggy loves, and they sit and watch TV together. Scooby is on my lap as we speak. It's cute now, they're 9 pound puppies, but wonder how this will work when they're 75lb dogs?

I know nothing about training dogs, so this will be a new challenge for me. If you've got any tips, do let me know! They both seem to have a really good disposition, they're friendly and excited without being OVER excited like one of those little rats-on-acid type dogs that are bouncing around and yipping all over the place.

That's the story 'round here. Think me and tigger will go take the puppies for a morning walk before it gets to be 90+ degrees (the powers that be respected my request for an extension of summer lol).

Life is just frustrating sometimes. Sigh. I spoke too soon when I said it was gonna skip me. I got sick. At least it didn't kill me. Yet. I think I'm getting over it now, actually (and thankfully). Tuesday was very, very bad with fevers of 103 and coughing and blah, but now all that remains is a general achiness from coughing so much and a renewed appreciation for breathing. Funny how that works.

Hubby is once again talking about a job in Greece. I'm still not holding my breath. He has been through numerous prospects, and if I got myself all worked up every time he said we were moving to Greece I probably would have suffered a few heart attacks or something by now. So I won't hold my breath, or get excited or worked up, or fight about the kids or what not just yet. He knows I won't go until the kids are older, but it doesn't stop him from looking/longing/planning and dreaming. I'm sure we'll land there someday.

Baby woke up and has decided it is NOT Mommy's computer time, so pardon my jumbled mess of a post and sorry if it's incomplete! Not like that's ever happened before, right?